If your identity is based on what others see, how can you really have your own identity?

Erikson has said that the formation of identity is a process of reflection and observation, and is related to how people see you; in short they are the mirror in which your identity comes to life.

I see a fundamental issue in this view. If you form your identity based on the views of other people, how is it YOUR identity? I believe that identities should be formed on careful inner reflection, about what you want and what you believe in, not on how other people see you. If we did not rely on how the world sees us to form our identities, they would be more personal, and less about physical outward appearances. Your identity could be, "I'm the person who loves piano and monster movies." Not, "I'm the Italian girl who loves playing piano, Bellini was Italian too."

There is no need to categorize ourselves in such simple terms, and when we stop making things we have no control over (such as skin colour, race etc.) part of our integral identity, we as a society will be that much closer to being equal.